hurleysxvx:

folie à deux in snapchats

rnyspacing:

MR. PRESIDENT

I wonder if our animals give us names that we don’t know about

onceuponawholockfannibal:

theotheristhedoctor:

fandoms-are-my-one-true-love:

assbutt-wizard-in-the-tardis:

like

Dog: Oh you got  new owner!

Cat: Yeah. She picked me up from the pound yesterday

Dog: She is so cute! What did you name her?

Cat: Steve.

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wow over the hedge fandom long time no see

onlinepunk:

my friend rachel isn’t ticklish whatsoever and when i asked her why she isn’t she told me “one day i just chose not to be ticklish anymore” and that’s why i am terrified to death of my friend rachel

basedloner:

this is hands down the best yahoo answers 

jeselacey:

✿ reasons to be ✿ songs about stars, the moon, any pretty sunset, and your favorite person. for heather || listen
→ And I sang oh, what do I do? What do I do without you?

01. young lion - vampire weekend 02. dearest - buddy holly 03. hands - moving mountains 04. loro - pinback 05. riches and wonders - the mountain goats 06. love and some verses - iron & wine 07. two headed boy, pt. 2 - neutral milk hotel 08. the suburbs (continued) - aracde fire 09. parachutes - coldplay 10. soco amaretto lime - brand new 11. woke up new - the mountain goats 12. car - built to spill 13. walls (tom petty cover) - kevin devine 14. reasons - built to spill 15. don’t panic - coldplay 16. farewell and goodnight - smashing pumpkins

jeselacey:

 reasons to be ✿ songs about stars, the moon, any pretty sunset, and your favorite person. for heather || listen

→ And I sang oh, what do I do? What do I do without you?

01. young lion - vampire weekend 02. dearest - buddy holly 03. hands - moving mountains 04. loro - pinback 05. riches and wonders - the mountain goats 06. love and some verses - iron & wine 07. two headed boy, pt. 2 - neutral milk hotel 08. the suburbs (continued) - aracde fire 09. parachutes - coldplay 10. soco amaretto lime - brand new 11. woke up new - the mountain goats 12. car - built to spill 13. walls (tom petty cover) - kevin devine 14. reasons - built to spill 15. don’t panic - coldplay 16. farewell and goodnight - smashing pumpkins

wazerwifles:

hijerking:

so, straight people… when did you realize you weren’t gay?

when i was in the third grade

modestmojo:

almightykushlord:

Dakarai Molokomme, a 15-year-old starving child from a small village in Zimbabwe, has just told , one of the most famous pop stars in the world, to  and f*** , the local media are reporting exclusively.

“Yes, it’s true, I told Madonna to go f*** herself. Do you want to know why?” Dakarai asked. “It’s the same thing every time with these snobby rich Americans. Every once in a while they come to show us their support for the so-called eradication of poverty by adopting a child from a starving family, but they actually do more harm than good. Transracial international adoptions are part of the white savior industrial complex,” Dakarai explained.

In further discussions with journalists from the media, the  stated that “none of the children here actually want to be taken away from their family and friends so they can be displayed as some kind of trophy in the homes of self-righteous singers or actors who want to score some points with the media and Oprah.”

“If they really want to help us, they should get Big Pharma to ship us some anti-retroviral drugs for the AIDS epidemic, or build schools and hospitals. If they don’t want to do that, then they can all go f** themselves!” the child told reporters.

The 15-year-old also stated that he would say the same thing to any one of those American or European “faux humanitarian posers”, except for Bono, whom he said he would also kick in the groin.

“Bono’s efforts to save the African savage from itself prove that the colonial imperative is alive and well,” Dakarai said as he walked with other village children collecting sticks to build a tree fort.

THIS IS THE RAWEST 15 YEAR OLD ALIVE

Whoa

heathicorn:

apparently some guy named mark was trying to tell my mom he needed to speak with my dad about any financial transactions my mom was making because he was the man of the house and she did not take kindly to his implying that my dad was the primary breadwinner/person in charge in our family so

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baby: A-a
mom: Apple? Say apple.
baby: *jumps*

honoronher:

THIS IS MY FAVORITE VINE OF ALL TIME

ruinedchildhood:

"Don’t even talk to yourself"